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Quack Off
Quack Off

by
Free
Market Duck
Fat Idaho
Idaho Statesman & Gov
Kempthorne give bad nutrition advice:
"Imagine looking at a vending machine and
finding healthful choices such as baby carrots, skim milk, and whole-grain,
low-fat crackers," say Statesman editors.
"There's a place I go
that has the best fries," says the Gov, "but I also ride my mountain bike.
For Father's Day, I had a great big helping of mashed potatoes."
Well goodie-goodie gum drops
for you, Governor, but according to nutritional
experts Drs. Michael and Mary Eades, M.D., authors of the best-selling
nutritional primer of the nineties, Protein Power, it is precisely
the low-fat, medium-to-high carbohydrate diet of the average American that
is responsible for obesity and related cardiovascular diseases in America.
With thousands of successful patients to back up their advice, the Eades
have conclusively shown that a high protein diet with low carb veggies such
as broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, and high fiber fruit such as
blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries (more fiber than a bowl of oat
bran), will normalize your cholesterol ratios via your body's insulin and
growth hormone mechanism to automatically avoid obesity and its concomitant
medical problems such as diabetes, heart disease and even cancer.
Throw in a dose of moderate
exercise and you're ready for that new bikini swimsuit. Throw in a Bow
Flex or Gold's Gym and you're ready for Bill Phillips' Body For Life body
building competition. FM Duck personally adds in Durk Pearson and
Sandy Shaw's Life Extension research of GH-releaser (not Growth Hormone per
se) amino acids arginine and ornithine on an empty stomach 1 hour before
pumping iron (or plastic if you got a Bow Flex). Watch your muscles
grow (tone up, if you're a woman) with predominantly high protein foods
including steaks, hamburgers, fish, chicken, eggs, nuts, berries, and very
few carbs. Throw away the bread, pasta, potatoes (sorry, Idaho),
carrots, doughnuts, potato chips, pizza, milk (hey, are you a baby cow
trying to rapidly add fat with tons of lactose sugar?) and other carbs.
By the way, Statesman and Gov
K, dietary fat does not metabolize to body fat. Excess carbs
metabolize to body fat. On the Glycemic Index scale of 0-100 (how easy
does a specific carb metabolize to fat) with sugar at 100, those baby
carrots weigh in at 98. Skim milk contains as much lactose (a sugar)
as whole milk. Forget the carrots and skim milk. You can lose
more fat by eating high protein, high fat nuts. In fact, regular
chunky peanut butter only has about 5 grams of carbs per serving whereas
low-fat peanut butter contains from 12-15 grams of carbs per serving.
Why? They add sugar, dummy. More fat pills. You'll
actually get fatter eating low-fat foods (high carb) than regular fat foods
(low carbs). Remember body builders, fat does not go to fat; carbs go
to fat. You want ripped abs, a nice six-pack to show off to the babes
at the beach, woof down regular chunky peanut butter and steaks with no
bread and pump plastic on your Bow Flex.
Worried about big bad
cholesterol, LDL, HDL, VLDL, and their ratios? First, dietary
cholesterol does not metabolize to serum (blood) cholesterol.
Cholesterol is good for you. Without it you would soon die. Over
90% of your cholesterol is made in, resides in, and distributed from your
cells, not from dietary eggs, Chicken Little. You need it for cell
repairs, hormone regulation, etc. It is the over-production of insulin
(stimulated by a high carb diet), not cholesterol, which is the bad guy in
heart disease.
More ominous in the
Statesman's editorial and Gov K's recent conference at BSU, The Governor's
Physical Activity and Nutrition Summit, is not only their wrong nutritional
advice but their proposed political "solution" to Fat Idaho. The
Statesman said, "Through education and social change -- and possibly
legislation -- organizers hope to make Idahoans less fat and more fit, and
save us all (what are we socialists with a collective bank account?) in the
process." The editors added, "But policymakers must help more people
make better choices..." Really? What policymakers? "...it
may mean persuading (read, forcing through legislation) your school or
employer to install vending machines, encourage fitness and REQUIRE
healthier choices in office vending machines. It may mean DEMANDING
bike lanes from state and local road planners and walkable communities from
developers." "Participants (read, politicians) in the governor's
conference have a chance to start leading Idahoans toward healthier
lifestyles." What, like eating great big helpings of mashed
potatoes? Thank you, Idaho Statesman, for your socialist --
and erroneous -- nutritional advice.
And that's exactly what
Idahonians, that's right Margie, Idahonians, should be concerned about:
Politicians, through legislation, forcing us to try to lose weight and
control our cholesterol at home, school, and work with bad government
nutrition laws (or ANY government nutrition laws) -- all on the premise of saving a previous government
boondoggle, the outrageous costs of Medicaid. As usual, one government joke begets another.
FM Duck says let the Governor
woof down his own French fries and heaping plates full of mashed potatoes.
Let the Idaho Statesman install its own low-fat vending machines full of
carrots and skim milk if they think that will slim down their "tator butts."
The rest of us body builders with ripped abs and healthy cholesterol say,
"Laissez-faire, keep the fatso politicians and the Fourth Branch of
government out of our refrigerators!" Throw another steak on the
Barbee, mate.
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