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Boise's Toiletgate morphs
into Pinocchio-gate as Senator Craig's nose mysteriously grows another 2
(Sep 5, 2007)
Boise, ID – In another medical mystery
surrounding Senator Larry "Pinocchio" Craig's nose, which has continued to
grow longer and longer every day for no apparent reason during the last
week, Senator "Pinocchio" woke up this morning with a schnaz two feet longer
"All's I did was leave a short message on a phone answering machine Saturday
morning just before my non-resignation speech to trick the voters by
changing the words 'I will resign'
to 'It is my INTENT to resign'
and boom, my nose grew another two feet," exclaimed Senator
"Pinocchio" whipping out a six-foot hanky.
"How was I to know I dialed the wrong phone number,"
he added, "and
left my tricky message for some hack who would squeal to the news media?"
spokesman, Geppetto Spaghetti, confirmed that the reason Senator "Pinocchio"
mistakenly left his tricky wordsmithing message on the wrong phone answering
machine, which ended up in all the national news media this morning, is
because Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto, and all the cartoon characters at
Disneyland have been harassing "Pinocchio" and his giant nose for the entire
week. "And for no good reason," added Geppetto, busy
carving another marionette resembling former President Bill Clinton.
"I am not a stiff wooden
puppet and did not squeeze the Charmin in the toilet stall at the
Minneapolis Airport Men's Room," declared Senator "Pinocchio" as he hired two lawyers to
pull his strings at the U.S. Congressional Ethics Committee hearings and the
Minneapolis Men's Room Club. "I was framed, I tell ya. Framed."
-- FM Duck
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