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Back to Quack Off
Quack Off
by
Free Market
Duck
Osama to
visit Boise on Saturday
(Jan 29,
2008)
Officials don't have any details but say it shows 'how close the
presidential race really is on the national level.'
Boise, ID –
International terrorist Osama bin Laden is coming to Boise on Saturday, said
Rep. Billy Bob Smith, R-Boise.
The GOP Party is
still working out details of the visit but he will make an appearance
Saturday night, Billy Bob said.
"I think this shows
that we Idahoans really do matter, how close the U.S. Presidential race
really is, and how important the War in Iraq really is," said Sally
Bob, Billy Bob's first cousin and second wife on the Governor's side.
A team of Osama
Jihadist henchmen jumped on Air Force One to fly to Boise Monday night to pick a
venue for the Saudi Terrorist's appearance, said Rep. Tom Bob Smith,
R-Ketchum. It was Tom Bob who urged President Bush to loan his plane
to Osama. Tom Bob is co-chair of Idaho's Tamarack Lodge Golfing Team,
where he met President Bush and ex Idaho Gov Dirk Kempthorne two years ago.
Mr. Bob was subsequently hired to work with the CIA's Special Operations
Group (SOG), which is charged with hiding Osama bin Laden in the hills,
caves, and deserts of Pakistan as a pretense to keep the War in Iraq
going.
Billy Bob, Sally
Bob, and Tom Bob, speaking under a veil of anonymity, said Osama is the
perfect excuse for the War in Iraq. "His resume is the epitome of an
immaculate GOP war conception, having blown up the World Trade Centers in
New York 7 years ago and now pretending to hide in the boonies of Pakistan
while President Bush and his CIA Shadow Government have paid Pakistan's
President Musharraf over $12 billion thus far to not find his ass."
"Osama has the
capability to bring us together in the War against Terrorism," said all
three Bobs.
All the Democratic
and GOP Presidential candidates are locked into a very tight race with Sen.
Hillarious "Govt Health" Clinton (D-NY) and Sen. John "We'll be in Iraq for
another 100 years if we have to" McCain (R-Az) running neck and neck.
Osama's visit comes three days before Idaho's Democratic Circuses, set for
Super Tuesday -- the busiest primary day of the election and Idaho's Elk
Hunting season. Sally Bob said Osama's appearance in his red and white
checkered dish rag toting a loaded AK-47, not new in Northern Idaho, could
boost turnout at the Idaho Circuses.
The visit shows us
that, in a close contest, Osama is not taking the War in Iraq for granted,
said Jerry Bob, the chairman of the Department of Political Economy at the
College of Idaho.
"Every state
matters, and I think it's not that hard to stop off here on the way to blow
up a dam in Colorado or a power plant in California or something like
that," he said.
Idaho Republican
Party Executive Director, former Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig, would not
confirm details of Osama's visit to the Boise Airport Men's Room but he said
any appearance by Osama would no doubt include eventually having to go potty
in a public restroom. "We have worked out all the hand signals and tap
dancing to ensure Osama has a pleasant experience in Stall Number 3 at the
Boise Airport," said Larry.
"It means what
we've been saying for months," added Craig, "that 2008 is going to be a very
good year for Idahoans who are "for" the War in Iraq but need to shake
Osama's hand and fondle his AK-47 to confirm his existence as their excuse
to keep sending their sons and daughters to Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan,
Iran, Korea, Sudan, Kenya, and Liechenstein as cannon fodder to protect
President Bush's Petro Dollar Deal with the OPEC Oil Ministers of Saudi
Arabia -- which is, by the way, Osama's homeland. What a coincidence."
Osama was the first
Terrorist in the 2008 election to open an office in Idaho.
On Monday, Sen.
Edward Kennedy (D-Mass) endorsed Osama as the Number One Terrorist in the
world, with a better drunk driving record than the senator himself, and urged
Congress to give Pakistan another $5 billion in terrorist aid so Osama can
continue hiding out in Pakistan where the CIA pretend they can't find his
ass even though they can pinpoint what you said on your cell phone last
night at 2 am. -- Deep Throat II
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