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by Free Market Duck

Osama to visit Boise on Saturday
(Jan 29, 2008)

Officials don't have any details but say it shows 'how close the presidential race really is on the national level.'

Boise, ID – International terrorist Osama bin Laden is coming to Boise on Saturday, said Rep. Billy Bob Smith, R-Boise.

   The GOP Party is still working out details of the visit but he will make an appearance Saturday night, Billy Bob said.

   "I think this shows that we Idahoans really do matter, how close the U.S. Presidential race really is, and how important the War in Iraq really is," said Sally Bob, Billy Bob's first cousin and second wife on the Governor's side.

   A team of Osama Jihadist henchmen jumped on Air Force One to fly to Boise Monday night to pick a venue for the Saudi Terrorist's appearance, said Rep. Tom Bob Smith, R-Ketchum.  It was Tom Bob who urged President Bush to loan his plane to Osama.  Tom Bob is co-chair of Idaho's Tamarack Lodge Golfing Team, where he met President Bush and ex Idaho Gov Dirk Kempthorne two years ago.  Mr. Bob was subsequently hired to work with the CIA's Special Operations Group (SOG), which is charged with hiding Osama bin Laden in the hills, caves, and deserts of Pakistan as a pretense to keep the War in Iraq going.

   Billy Bob, Sally Bob, and Tom Bob, speaking under a veil of anonymity, said Osama is the perfect excuse for the War in Iraq.  "His resume is the epitome of an immaculate GOP war conception, having blown up the World Trade Centers in New York 7 years ago and now pretending to hide in the boonies of Pakistan while President Bush and his CIA Shadow Government have paid Pakistan's President Musharraf over $12 billion thus far to not find his ass."

   "Osama has the capability to bring us together in the War against Terrorism," said all three Bobs.

   All the Democratic and GOP Presidential candidates are locked into a very tight race with Sen. Hillarious "Govt Health" Clinton (D-NY) and Sen. John "We'll be in Iraq for another 100 years if we have to" McCain (R-Az) running neck and neck.  Osama's visit comes three days before Idaho's Democratic Circuses, set for Super Tuesday -- the busiest primary day of the election and Idaho's Elk Hunting season.  Sally Bob said Osama's appearance in his red and white checkered dish rag toting a loaded AK-47, not new in Northern Idaho, could boost turnout at the Idaho Circuses.

   The visit shows us that, in a close contest, Osama is not taking the War in Iraq for granted, said Jerry Bob, the chairman of the Department of Political Economy at the College of Idaho.

   "Every state matters, and I think it's not that hard to stop off here on the way to blow up a dam in Colorado or a power plant in California or something like that," he said.

   Idaho Republican Party Executive Director, former Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig, would not confirm details of Osama's visit to the Boise Airport Men's Room but he said any appearance by Osama would no doubt include eventually having to go potty in a public restroom.  "We have worked out all the hand signals and tap dancing to ensure Osama has a pleasant experience in Stall Number 3 at the Boise Airport," said Larry.

   "It means what we've been saying for months," added Craig, "that 2008 is going to be a very good year for Idahoans who are "for" the War in Iraq but need to shake Osama's hand and fondle his AK-47 to confirm his existence as their excuse to keep sending their sons and daughters to Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Korea, Sudan, Kenya, and Liechenstein as cannon fodder to protect President Bush's Petro Dollar Deal with the OPEC Oil Ministers of Saudi Arabia -- which is, by the way, Osama's homeland.  What a coincidence."

   Osama was the first Terrorist in the 2008 election to open an office in Idaho.

   On Monday, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass) endorsed Osama as the Number One Terrorist in the world, with a better drunk driving record than the senator himself, and urged Congress to give Pakistan another $5 billion in terrorist aid so Osama can continue hiding out in Pakistan where the CIA pretend they can't find his ass even though they can pinpoint what you said on your cell phone last night at 2 am. -- Deep Throat II

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