|
Back to Quack Off
Quack Off
by
Free Market
Duck
Parliament of
Whores admonishes one of their own
(Feb 14,
2008)
U.S. Senate
slaps sausage sucking Senator upside his supercilious cerebellum
Washington,
DC – Public Letter of Admonition:
Dear Senator
Craig (R-Idaho):
Your actions in the men's room
at the Minneapolis Airport were waaay bad, sir. In fact, it was beyond
belief. The Select Committee on Ethics of the U.S. Parliament of
Whores hereby bitch-slaps your ass pursuant to Section 2(d)(3) of Resolution
338, 88th Parliament of Whores, 2nd Session (1964), as amended by Whorehouse
Resolution 222, 106th Parliament of Whores, 1st Session (1999) and its
Supplementary Sausage Sucking Rules, Rule 3(g)(2).
Specifically:
1. You confessed to the crime,
dummy.
2. You tried to "influence" a
Vice cop.
3. You spent campaign money to
bail your butt out. $213,000.
4. You got caught in public with
your pants down.
This Parliament of Whores
maintains high standards of ethics, sir, which include:
Billions in Earmarks is OK.
Trillions in Deficit spending is OK. Special interest bribes are OK.
Heavy taxes, welfare spending, redistribution of everybody's wealth, and the
War in Iraq are OK. Allowing the stupid Federal Reserve to
hyperinflate our paper money out of thin air is A-OK.
But...getting caught with your
pants down in the men's room is NOT A-OK.
In summary, your conduct sucks.
You dissed all us prostitutes in the Parliament of Whores when you got
caught tap dancing in the men's room with your trick, a Vice cop, and then
tried to cop a guilty plea after attempting to bribe the trick in your
seersucker suit, you short stack of potato flap jacks from Boise. What
were you thinking with, your banana or your noodle? Apparently there
is no difference.
Therefore, we hookers in the
Parliament of Whores have decided to bitch-slap your ass in this Public
Letter of Admonition. Take that, slap-slap. Now don't you feel
better?
Here's a little humor to cheer
you up. First we slap you down, then we build you back up with a joke
or two.
"Say, where're you from,
hooker Craig?"
"Idaho."
"You da ho? Well, I da
pimp, so get back to work, hooker Craig. Your tricks in Idaho need
a new detox center and free lollipops. Jump right to it.
Hippity-hoppity in your seersucker suit."
Now that we're friends again,
Senator, if you need our help, just whistle. You do know how to
whistle, don't you, Larry? Just press your lips together and...blow.
Cordially,
Your Friends on the Select
Ethics Committee in the Parliament of Whores
Barbara Boxer Shorts,
Committee Chairbabe
-- Deep Throat II
back to top... |