FreeMarketDuck.com

Idaho's Weekly Journal of Local & National Commentary  Week 3514

 

Home • Up • About us • Contact • Glossary • Links

 

 

Back to Quack Off

 Quack Off               

 

 

by Free Market Duck

Parliament of Whores admonishes one of their own
(Feb 14, 2008)

U.S. Senate slaps sausage sucking Senator upside his supercilious cerebellum

Washington, DC Public Letter of Admonition:

Dear Senator Craig (R-Idaho):

Your actions in the men's room at the Minneapolis Airport were waaay bad, sir.  In fact, it was beyond belief.  The Select Committee on Ethics of the U.S. Parliament of Whores hereby bitch-slaps your ass pursuant to Section 2(d)(3) of Resolution 338, 88th Parliament of Whores, 2nd Session (1964), as amended by Whorehouse Resolution 222, 106th Parliament of Whores, 1st Session (1999) and its Supplementary Sausage Sucking Rules, Rule 3(g)(2).

Specifically:

1. You confessed to the crime, dummy.

2. You tried to "influence" a Vice cop.

3. You spent campaign money to bail your butt out.  $213,000.

4. You got caught in public with your pants down.

This Parliament of Whores maintains high standards of ethics, sir, which include:

Billions in Earmarks is OK.  Trillions in Deficit spending is OK.  Special interest bribes are OK.  Heavy taxes, welfare spending, redistribution of everybody's wealth, and the War in Iraq are OK.  Allowing the stupid Federal Reserve to hyperinflate our paper money out of thin air is A-OK.

But...getting caught with your pants down in the men's room is NOT A-OK.

In summary, your conduct sucks.  You dissed all us prostitutes in the Parliament of Whores when you got caught tap dancing in the men's room with your trick, a Vice cop, and then tried to cop a guilty plea after attempting to bribe the trick in your seersucker suit, you short stack of potato flap jacks from Boise.  What were you thinking with, your banana or your noodle?  Apparently there is no difference.

Therefore, we hookers in the Parliament of Whores have decided to bitch-slap your ass in this Public Letter of Admonition.  Take that, slap-slap.  Now don't you feel better?

Here's a little humor to cheer you up.  First we slap you down, then we build you back up with a joke or two.

"Say, where're you from, hooker Craig?"

"Idaho."

"You da ho?  Well, I da pimp, so get back to work, hooker Craig.  Your tricks in Idaho need a new detox center and free lollipops.  Jump right to it.  Hippity-hoppity in your seersucker suit."

Now that we're friends again, Senator, if you need our help, just whistle.  You do know how to whistle, don't you, Larry?  Just press your lips together and...blow.

Cordially,

Your Friends on the Select Ethics Committee in the Parliament of Whores

Barbara Boxer Shorts,
Committee Chairbabe

 -- Deep Throat II

        back to top...

 

               Home • Up • About us • Contact • Glossary • Links


freemarketduck.com   all contents copyrighted 1994-2014   Free Market Duck tm   all rights reserved