Back to Quack Off

 Quack Off               

by Free Market Duck

Yeah, Kempthorne, “Cough up” those gubernatorial records, will ya?
(May 16, 2008)

Boise, ID – For its tiny size, population 1.3 million, Idaho is probably one of the most openly corrupt states in the union.  Tough accusation.  Can we back it up?  Hey, is a frog’s ass waterproof?

   First, we have Boise’s Watergate from 1998 through today, still unresolved, in which many of the most prominent attorneys, judges, university administrators, county officials, and state politicians, including past Governor Dirk Kempthorne, participated in one of the most damaging financial fiascos to ever embroil Boise, Ada County, and the University of Idaho and University of Idaho Foundation: the failed $138 million University Place fiasco whose finances imploded like Enron.

   Only a few of the perps were convicted.  The rest got away with financial murder.  The major reason, besides corruption, is due to a unique Idaho law that says only the Treasurer -- the politician responsible for handling the funds, not the rest of the crooks who handled the money but whose official job title was not “Treasurer” -- can be convicted of criminal wrongdoing.  Hence only U of I VP of Finance, Jerry Wallace, was convicted.

   One of the other major players, convicted lawyer/lobbyist Roy Eiguren, was an alumnus of the U of Idaho and student body president.  Another participant, ex Governor Dirk Kempthorne, was also an alumnus of the U of Idaho and student body president.  He was promoted to Secretary of the Interior by President Bush.

   Last year, Idaho’s senior Senator Larry Craig, who regularly trashed gay rights with anti-gay legislation, confessed to, and was convicted of, soliciting anonymous gay sex in a Minneapolis Airport men’s room from a vice cop.  Craig promised to resign his Senate seat, then reneged.  Craig also used political campaign funds to finance his ridiculous appeal, which he recently lost and was slapped upside the head by the U.S. Senate for his actions.  Various gay men came forth on national TV to finger Craig – I wouldn’t touch that with a 10-foot mop -- as their previous gay sex partner and, in at least one alleged encounter, Craig boasted how he was a rich and powerful U.S. Senator who could buy dozens of – insinuate, insinuate – low life gay partners just like the one he allegedly just had sex with.

   Apparently, Craig has been in a constant state of denial, guilt, and psychologically confused for many years.  This is the same Senator Craig who was sitting at the side of ex Gov Dirk Kempthorne, laughing it up and back-slapping each other, during Kempthorne’s soft-ball questioning by 20-odd Senators on a confirmation committee who approved Kempthorne’s nomination by Prez Bush for the position of Sec of the Interior.  Yuck, yuck, yuck.  Craig was also an alumni of the U of Idaho and student body president.

   How come all the crooks get to be President?  Anyway, are we starting to get a picture of what’s been going on for many years with the major politicians in Idaho?  Sex and money.  Hmmm, sounds like a Grade-F movie.

   Now comes President Bush in 2006 and taps then Gov Kempthorne to replace Gale Norton as Sec of the Interior after the Department of Interior Jack Abramoff scandal in which Abramoff and cohorts got sent up the river for various crimes including bribery and millions of dollars in vendor and legislative payoffs.  Eager to escape his alleged nefarious participation in Idaho politics, Kempthorne and wifester Patricia immediately responded to Bush in the Key of C, “Ya-yesss, George Bush,” and jammed off to Bush’s Cabinet in Washington, DC where they are currently hiding between Laura’s tea cups.

   Except for one thing.  Gov Kempthorne, required by state law to fork over his gubernatorial records to the Idaho Historical Society relating to what went on during his many years of political tap dancing in Idaho, has steadfastly refused for two years to “cough up” his records.  Let me repeat:  Kempthorne has stalled, refused, and still has not -- as required by state law – given up his gubernatorial records for over two years.

   Kempthorne’s typical response, “Hey, I been busy.  We got to vet my records for, you know, like top secret classified info whatchamacallits, dudes.”

   Really?  Or is it that there might be something you’re hiding, Mr. Dirky Lurky?

   Finally, even the left Liberal Idaho Statesman has had enough and popped up with a recent editorial not-so-subtly urging Sec of Interior Kempthorne to “cough up” his two year late, as in sincerely tardy, PUBLIC gubernatorial records for everybody to see, read, fondle, and laugh at.

   We agree with the Idaho Statesman on this one – which does not mean we are asking them out to the next Senior Prom.

   So, c’mon Mr. Suckatomato of the Inferior, “cough up” the records, will ya?

   Hey, just to help His Honorable Secretary of the Interior get over his stage fright, the author of the book, Boise’s Watergate:  University Place & All The Governor’s Men – Deep Throat II – will do his part to set Kempthorne’s gubernatorial record straight by sending a free copy of his Best Selling book to the Idaho Historical Society post haste, you know, for all the history buffs to read, wonder, cry, and laugh their butts off at.  After all, Kempthorne’s gubernatorial reign in Boise really was one Big Political Joke after another.  Unless, of course, you were a student, alumni donor, professor, or administrator at the U of Idaho whose student body slid into enrollment and fiscal Hell after being financially raped by the Boyz of Boyzee in the University Place fiasco.  Then, it isn’t so funny.  By the way, adios to U of Idaho President Tim White who was hired to clean up the University Place Garbage but, whew, has now escaped to become Chancellor of UC Riverside in California.

   Back to the scene of the crime.

   So, whaddya got to hide by refusing to release your gubernatorial records to the Idaho Historical Society, Mr. Secretary?  It’s not like you worked in a Special Security Detachment, with the Assistant Chief of Staff, Intelligence and Counter Intelligence, in the Pentagon with a Top Secret Crypto Eyes Only and other classified code word security clearances while playing Governor of Idaho, right?  I thought not.

   Let’s “cough up” those records pronto, pardner, or the Idaho Statesman might write something nasty about you – even if it is true, like how come you just added the polar bear to the Endangered Species List yesterday when its population has increased from 5,000 to over 25,000 over the last decade?  No shortage of bears but they’re going extinct, right?  Right.  We’ll cover that one later, OK?  Like tomorrow.  Have a nice day, Dirk. – Deep Throat II

back to top...