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by Free Market Duck

Darth Vader Arrested for Bringing "Fiscal Cliff" to Earth

(Dec 28, 2012)

"Jeezo peezo, we had no idea this was going on right under our asses under the basement," said Fed Reserve Chief Ben Bernanke, "nor where all the hyper-inflated money was coming from to destroy our economy."

New York, NY -- Arrested last night for bringing the mysterious "Fiscal Cliff" to planet Earth from Mars, a Mr. Darth Vader and his 200 storm troopers clad in white plastic suits were caught in the act of printing up trillions of US dollars underneath the basement of the New York Federal Reserve in Manhattan.

"Whew!" exclaimed President Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.  "We knew that it wasn't our fault that the Fiscal Cliff was driving our economy over the cliff.  It had to be somebody else and now we know It was those invaders from Mars, Darth Vader, and his cohorts."

Speaking under terms of anonymity, recently-fired source Suzy Dinkleberry who previously worked in the US Treasury Department confided, "We still are not sure whether the culprits who brought the Fiscal Cliff to our planet were Mr. Darth Vader and his storm troopers.  A key question," Ms. Dinkleberry added, "is how in hell were they able to dig underneath the basement of the Federal Reserve in the middle of New York City to accomplish this nefarious act of counterfeiting?"

"We told you over and over that it was not former President George Bush's fault," replied GOP House Speaker John Boehner, "but noooo, the Obama Administration wouldn't believe us."

Invoking the Fifth Amendment so as not to provide evidence against himself, Mr. Darth Vader kept his mouth shut and  quickly waved his hand, thus invoking what he called "The Force" to evaporate all the printing presses, plates, ink, tables, chairs and $50 trillion in non-sequential bills as Treasury agents dashed into Mr. Vader's lavish counterfeiting enclave under the Federal Reserve building in New York City.

"Jeezo peezo, we had no idea this was going on right under our asses under the basement," said Fed Reserve Chief Ben Bernanke, "nor where all the hyper-inflated money was coming from to destroy our economy."

"Oh heavens no," added House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.  "We had no clue where all the money was coming from to fund our $17 trillion deficit."

"No," said all 535 members of the US Congress, "we did not know the source of all the trillions and trillions of Federal Reserve Notes being flooded into our legislative bills to drive our current deficit to $17 trillion.  Nor were we aware of where all this counterfeit money was coming from for the Social Security and Medicare funds which now total hundreds of trillions of dollars of unfunded debt."

"Yes, what a shock," exclaimed Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, wearing a new propeller beanie and snapping his suspenders.  "Darth Vader must be held responsible for bringing this 'Fiscal Cliff' virus to planet Earth."

Unfortunately for Treasury agents, and the Obama Administration, Darth Vader and his entire squad of 200 storm troopers escaped while en route to Guantanamo Prison after Mr. Vader waved his black-gloved fist and said, "These are not the droids you're looking for" -- after which Vader and his storm troopers suddenly disappeared into thin air.  Poof. – FM Duck

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